High Protocol is a practice of refined attention — to ritual, to partner, to the moment itself. At a Xanadu Reserve event, that looks like formal service, intentional dress, measured conversation, and clearly defined roles throughout the evening.

Guests arrive dressed for the occasion. Events open with a shared welcome and toast. What follows — dinner, tea, ceremony — is orchestrated rather than improvised. Those in service positions move with care and deliberation. Those being served receive that care with presence and appreciation.

The structure is not decoration. It is the medium through which connection deepens.

Our Cocktail Parties are designed specifically as a gentle introduction to the Reserve. Expect a warm welcome at the door, a shared toast to open the evening, and unhurried conversation in a space that favors quality over volume. Questions are welcomed. Hosts make themselves available to every newcomer.

You will not be asked to perform, prove, or pretend. Observe, ask, and let the evening unfold at its own pace. The community is cultivated slowly, and there is no hurry.

For more immersive events (High Protocol dinners, Royal Afternoon Tea), we recommend beginning with a Cocktail Party first so you can meet hosts and regulars before stepping into the more structured gatherings.

Yes — most of our introductory events (Cocktail Parties in particular) welcome guests who are curious but not yet ready to participate more fully. You are free to arrive, meet people, observe the atmosphere, and leave without any expectation of what you will or won’t do next.

The more ceremonial events assume active participation in the ritual. If you wish to observe those, reach out to us beforehand and we will talk through whether a particular evening is the right fit.

You fit. Xanadu Reserve welcomes members and guests of every orientation, identity, body, background, and level of experience. Chosen names and pronouns are honored from first introduction. Newcomers and seasoned practitioners are treated with equal grace.

Solo attendees are common and actively welcomed — many of our most beloved members first arrived on their own. If you have concerns specific to your own situation, email us before the event and we will answer directly and discreetly.

Xanadu Reserve is our flagship private social club — High Protocol dinners, Royal Afternoon Teas, Reserve Cocktail parties, and curated social experiences that emphasize ritual, elegance, and intentional connection. Most Reserve events are members-first.

Escape to Xanadu is our themed social series — more playful, less formal, and often costume-driven (think Toga Parties and seasonal soirées). These events are sponsorship-based; please contact us for details.

XPE (Power Exchange Together) is our discussion and community gathering for those interested in power-exchange dynamics. XPE events are open to all, lower-key in format, and focused on conversation, education, and connection rather than ceremony or play.

Dress code varies by event and is always indicated on the event page and ticket. In general:

Cocktail Parties — Smart casual. Think polished, put-together, not black-tie.
Royal Afternoon Tea — Elevated daywear. Tea attire, refined and expressive.
High Protocol Dinners — Formal. Themed where noted (e.g., A Starry Night in Paris).
Escape to Xanadu — Costume per the evening’s theme.
XPE gatherings — Come as you are.

When in doubt, dress up rather than down. Every room reads the effort, and the effort is part of the experience.

All attendees must be 21 years of age or older. Identity verification may be requested at application, at the door, or in response to a concern.

Attendance at most Reserve events also requires acceptance of our Community Standards — our shared agreements on consent, discretion, safety, and conduct. These are not optional.

Event-specific requirements (membership status, sponsorship, themed attire, etc.) are indicated on each event’s page and in the ticket confirmation.

We want every guest to be able to be fully present, and we do our best to accommodate accessibility needs — mobility, sensory, dietary, or otherwise.

Every attendee form includes a space for accessibility needs and dietary restrictions. If you have specific requirements, please share them there, or email us directly at XanaduReserve@gmail.com as early as possible so we can plan the evening around them.

Venues vary by event and not every space can accommodate every need. If a venue is not a fit for your accessibility requirements, we will say so plainly and work with you to find an event that is.

Tickets are issued through our ticketing partner (Forbidden Tickets) and are generally non-refundable once purchased. We design our events around confirmed guest lists, and last-minute cancellations affect the experience for everyone.

That said, life happens. If you need to cancel, write to us as early as possible at XanaduReserve@gmail.com. Depending on the circumstances and how far in advance you reach out, we may be able to offer a credit toward a future event or arrange a transfer of your ticket.

Membership dues are non-refundable once the membership term has begun.

The best way is to email us at XanaduReserve@gmail.com. Every message is read personally by a host and answered with care.

You can also find us on FetLife — our profiles and community groups are listed on our Contact Us page.